Impulse Control

“To be symbiotic is to escape a lifetime of conditioning, and it is to feel a collective relief not yet felt by our species. Life is incredible. I wonder what it would look like to choose it.”

Ren’s continued emphasis on harmony makes me want to do better. It makes me want to listen to those who seek to tear me down. I want to empathize with those I consider my enemies, because I want to understand why they hate me. I want to reconcile, if possible. Even though there are some rifts that feel impossible to overcome.

On the surface I want to rage against those who have wronged and slandered me. I want to call them out by name and lay out my grievances, as they have laid out their own. But the more I think, the more I consider Ren’s call to put aside petty differences and come together, the more those feelings fade. Some wrongs cut so deep that the best you can hope for is the ability to forgive the one who has wronged you. Or at least to let that anger, that hurt, fade. But other rifts are not insurmountable.

How does one achieve harmony, symbiosis, unity---when the other side refuses to listen? How does one empathize with someone whose views they find abhorrent? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but I do know this. Those of us who are open to understanding, forgiving, and empathizing with others possess the ability to foster harmony in our surroundings.

Our circles may be small, but a single act of kindness is rarely contained to the confines of a circle. Often it escapes and touches others. And perhaps those others are moved enough by what they see to adopt that kindness into their own circles.

So I ask you: is there a rift in your life you can work to repair? Again, some wounds cut too deep to reconcile with the other person, but maybe you can reconcile your own feelings about the situation and begin to heal. Start small, with the petty grievances. Apologize to the coworker you were short with because you were stressed about something unrelated to them. Tell a neglected friend or loved one you are proud of them. And then work your way to engaging with someone you dislike, or who dislikes you. Seek to understand why you have a problem with them, or why they have a problem with you, and try to find a path forward where you both live in harmony.

It isn’t easy. Admitting you are wrong or letting go of anger towards those who have wronged you takes a lot of self-reflection and a lot of effort. It’s easier to hold onto those negative emotions than it is to let them go. But think how much freer you will feel if you work to spread light into the world. It could be beautiful.

Finally, I’ll leave you with another quote from Ren. He was on X speaking on the status quo, and I replied that it seemed impossible to change the world. Ren replied:

“It’s not impossible. The status quo is a result of a culmination of micro-decisions—cataclysmic events can shape it drastically, but everything we do moves it and evolves it like a living organism. It’s changing every second. It’s far from futile."